CHAPTER NINETEEN

It was time.

We were having the ceremony in the small back yard. Someplace more private than Mom and Dad’s—I was terrified of a crowd, even though the pack seemed to believe the romantic story we’d been telling. I wondered why it was so convincing to them, but I was exhausted and overwhelmed, so I pushed it aside to think about some other time.

The afternoon of the mating found me in Bax’s bedroom, wearing nothing but a robe after scrubbing myself in his big bath, my hair being styled by Holland while Rosie worked on my make-up because my hands were shaking too hard for me to hold a brush.

She thought it was cute. I’d only just realized that tonight was my mating night. With everything that it implied.

I’d asked Rosie to be my rozvennya. My mating wasn’t going to be a big affair—it only made sense to keep the mating party small. Though I’d broken down yesterday evening as we were putting up the decorations that had been scrounged from Mac’s and Abel’s extended families, when Bax offered in his gentle way to help me get ready. Rosie didn’t know what had happened, and having someone there who knew the whole story—I hadn’t realized how alone I felt until he pulled me aside and offered me the use of his house and his bath and just him, to lean on.

Bax was mixing the body paint, adding scent to it as he worked and occasionally holding a sample up to my nose for my judgment. He watched me the whole time, and I knew, even if I was managing to hide things or explain them away to Rosie, he saw everything.

He’s been through this.

Why it hadn’t occurred to me already I didn’t know. I knew he’d been mated before and that it hadn’t been someone he’d chosen. Not that I wouldn’t have chosen Duke, but I might as well have been in the same situation. I wasn’t being mated because he was in love with me, but because he felt responsible for me.

“There,” Rosie said, sitting back with her hands held up in the air. “You’re perfect. Isn’t he perfect?” she asked the room in general.

Holland turned my head with a gentle hand. “Fantastic job, Rosie. You have an eye for it.”

“Only because I’ve been practicing on my own face for years.” She sighed in romantic contentment. “Wait until Duke sees you.”

My stomach lurched.

“Rosie,” Bax said gently. “Don’t make him more nervous than he already is.” He set the small bowl and the brushes on his dresser and held out his hands to me. “Stand up and we’ll paint you.”

I got up, and let Holland slip the robe off my shoulders. My hand went to my belly out of habit, but it was still flat. For now. No one would know.

For now.

They all three took a brush, and began the tickly process of covering my body with deep blue swirls and drawn images. I listened abstractly as Bax coached Rosie through the traditional symbols—happiness and love over my heart, wealth on my left arm, safety on my right. Health was drawn at the base of my spine, and fertility just below my bellybutton. Ha! I already had that covered. The rest of the symbols, for luck and joy and good hunting and all the other random mating wishes, could be placed anywhere, wherever they fit in with the decorative elements.

Holland worked in silence, filling in the spaces between until I looked like fine lace.

“That’s good,” Bax said with a nod. “I have some pants for you. Your jeans will smear if you pull them over it.” He laid his brush on top of the bowl, and pulled open the drawer beneath it to pull out a bundle of black fabric. “I have some other things for you too. You can get them tomorrow.”

I took the bundle and shook it out. They were loose, silky pants with a wide leg and a drawstring waist. Exactly what you’d make if you weren’t sure the size of the person you were fitting. Or if you expected their size to change. Very smart.

“Thank you.” I held them out to Rosie, who knelt in front of me to let me step into them. Then Bax and Holland helped me into my tunic, my old shirt now long and soft black with touches of blue, in suede and satin and silk embroidery, all of it flowing with every move I made. It was beautiful. I stepped into the low boots Bax had loaned me, and then I was ready.

The sun was just setting as we walked out of the house. Rosie carried an armful of offerings, and Bax and Holland slipped away to stand with Abel in the sidelines. I wasn’t mating the Alpha, so the contract would be signed between my dad and Duke, but I was excited to see that Quin had come.

Other than those few, there was Cale and Russell and Seosamh and Darcy, plus my Mom and Dad, and my Mom’s mom. Jason and Mac, with all the pups in tow, both theirs and Bax’s. A few of the guys I recognized from the Security crew—Firoz, Dolph, Samuel. Friends of Duke’s? It was embarrassing that I didn’t know who my mate spent his free time with. Maybe Bax could do some scouting for me, so I didn’t make an idiot of myself, or let Duke down. I needed to make this work, and work in a way that would show he’d made a good choice.

My dad came to take my arm, and we walked out to the circle of branches beside the firepit. He seemed as nervous as I was and he gave an awkward smile before he left me outside the ring, as was tradition, and stepped into the center. “Duke Mercy Hills, I bring you this omega, child of my body, of good health and good nature, and skilled in the keeping and care of a household.”

Duke stepped out of the crowd, handsome as ever, in a mating suit that made him look like a movie star. It was dark, with beading in blue and amber and bone. Not old like Abel’s had been, but he’d obviously spent a bit of money on it. Pale bone beads had been used to draw a full moon on the front of his left shoulder, with dark blue ones outlining a howling wolf in front of it. The rest of that side had been left plain, but the right side was covered in a glorious explosion of color that made me think of a forest by the sea at night.

“Hennessey Mercy Hills, I come to you in peace and in friendship, wearing the hides of my prey and the skins of my enemies, so that I may give proof that your kin will be cared for and safe. By my side will he shelter and be fed, he and the pups that he bears of my seed. By my side will he rest in comfort and contentment, and the pups of his body shall be raised in the right ways, the old ways and the new, and shall know both safety and plenty, that your line and mine may grow and prosper. This I promise by the moon, and the trees, and the wind that reveals the prey to our fangs.” Duke turned and made some sort of signal to Firoz and Dolph, and they came through the crowd, carrying a beautiful wooden dining table with carved legs and a leaf in the middle that could be taken out. They set it down, then the three of them disappeared to come back, each with a chair carved to match the table. “I offer you, in fair exchange of the value of your son, this table, built by my own labor, and chairs to surround it, that you may have space for your grandpups when they come to visit.” He grinned sheepishly and shrugged. “There’ll be three more eventually, but I only had time to finish one more before today. If that’s okay.”

Dad ran his hand over the surface of the table. “This is your work?”

Duke nodded. “It’s a hobby. I usually make small stuff that can be sold outside walls, or for gifts inside, but I’ve been working on this off and on for a few years. In between other projects. But it was never top priority because I had no place to put it.”

“This was supposed to be yours,” I blurted in sudden understanding.

Duke looked up at me. “I’ll make one just for you. Whatever you want.”

“Oh.” My knees felt weak, even though my body was otherwise ignoring him. “You don’t have to do that.”

“You’re my mate.” He smiled at me, slightly crooked. “Who else would I make a table for?” He turned back to my father before I had a chance to figure out how I felt about that. “Is the gift acceptable?”

“More than. Your work is excellent.” Dad bent down to look at the legs. “Is this the scene from Lysoonka and the River?”

“Yes.” Duke’s voice told me how pleased he was. “It starts at the next leg and goes around the table.”

My dad looked absolutely blown away for a moment, then shook himself and stood straight. “This is a gift of great value, Duke Mercy Hills. As father to this unmated omega, I call upon the pack to lend their support to this mating.”

“We support this mating,” the shifters gathered around us said in unison.

Dad called me forward to stand between him and Duke. He undid the tie holding my mating tunic closed and draped it over his arm. I shivered and stared up at Duke.

I don’t know what he saw in my eyes, maybe uncertainty, maybe fear, but he smiled gently at me. “It’ll be all right,” he mouthed. I wasn’t so sure, and I had to swallow hard against the churning of my stomach.

Dad pulled the tunic off over my shoulders and slipped it down my arms. “Duke Mercy Hills, by removing the garments in which I have clothed this omega, I do hereby withdraw my claim on him and leave him free of impediment, that you may claim him.”

Duke held out his hand, without taking his eyes off me, and Samuel came forward carrying something—my mated tunic, I guessed—over his arm. He placed it in Duke’s hand and retreated back into the crowd again. Duke shook it out and stepped toward me. “I claim this omega as my own, and as a symbol of that claiming and the shelter I offer, I clothe him with my hides, and thus he will know he is mine.” He helped me into the tunic and pulled it tight around me. “Don’t want you to get cold,” he whispered in a conspiratorial tone, then brushed my cheek with his fingers. “It’s almost over,” he reminded me. “You gonna be okay?”

I nodded and closed my eyes for a moment, shutting out the world until I could stop my spinning thoughts. “I’ll be fine,” I whispered. I felt his fingers on my cheek again and opened my eyes to see him watching me with concern. “Really,” I said. “I just didn’t eat much today. Too much to do. Let’s keep going.”

He nodded and turned to the crowd again. Mac stepped forward, holding a light-colored belt. Duke took it from him and turned back to me. “With this hide and with this belt, I claim you. You are mine, for now and always. I will shelter you and defend you, and raise your pups in the right ways, both the old and the new.” The belt tugged at my waist as Duke made the first ceremonial knot in it. “You will sleep by my side, and your days will be filled with plenty, with good work, and useful work, and together we will tread the path of virtue.” He winked at my startled expression and finished the final knot, sealing his part of our mating. I’d expected to have to hold in a wince at the traditional line, which said that he could keep me on the path of virtue, but my mate seemed to be more perceptive than I’d realized. I smiled up at him to show him I recognized his kindness and he smiled back.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

Now it was my turn. I prayed I didn’t flub my lines. “Duke Mercy Hills, I do hereby deliver myself to you, to be your companion and your aide, to bear your pups and keep your household in prosperity and joy.” Oh, hell, that was awkward. Mutely, I held out my hands so my dad could wrap my old belt around them and officially turn me over to Duke. As he did it, I sputtered through the rest of the words. “With this cord, I give you myself in all that I am and all I may provide for you, submitting my own desires to the peace and prosperity of you and yours.”

Dad gave Duke the end of the belt, and Duke led me over to another small table. A cup and a bowl sat in the center.

“You will not hunger,” Duke said, holding a small piece of meat to my lips. I took it and chewed, nearly choking even though it was tender. Yes, I knew the ceremony inside and out. But I hadn’t stopped to think about the last bit. This bit.

I wanted to bolt and hide in Bax’s bedroom. Poor Duke. Why had he insisted on this? I know I’d always wanted the traditional thing, the binding and the vows, but this was just cruel to Duke.

He held out another piece to me and waited for me to take it. I cast him a desperate pleading look, and he shook his head slightly. “It’s okay,” he said, so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. “It’s just words.”

But it wasn’t to me. Numbly I took the second piece of meat from him and chewed while he promised to provide for our pups. Then he held the cup to my lips, and gave me a careful swallow while he swore to provide for me and mine no matter what. The hand under my chin was warm and when I met his eyes, it seemed to me that he knew what was coming, and that he saw it as part of his duty. He was mating me for my child, and doing his best to protect both my reputation and my heart.

I owed him. Owed him so much. With that in mind, I pulled myself together and loudly proclaimed my last words of the ceremony, the ones that bound me to him completely. “I offer my gratitude and my desire in recompense of your generosity. Pups to increase your line, and my care to ensure their health and prosperity. This I do promise.” Maybe I couldn’t offer him real desire, but I wasn’t going to deny him his rights in the bedroom. I’d find a way to make it work.

My dad nodded solemnly. “Duke Mercy Hills, he is yours. Care for him, as I have.”

Duke looked up at him. “I will.”

And that was it—we were mated. The only thing left was the signing of the paperwork and then…the bedroom.

I swallowed against the rising sickness in my stomach. It wasn’t a good sign if you puked at your mating.