Chapter Twenty-Six

“Aah, fuck, Charlee.” Rath’s chest heaves, his muscles tense, and he grips the headboard above him. “Shit, babe . . .”

I suck harder, roll my tongue around the head of his cock. Suck. Pump. Suck. Pump.

His hips move, begging for more, moving my finger in and out of him while my mouth continues to move over his length. I can see it, he’s on edge, so I remove my mouth and lick the underside of his cock, playing with the sensitive vein along his length.

He hisses out his pleasure as his thighs tense, his abs ripple, and the sinew in his arms fire off. That’s when I take him back in my mouth and finish him off.

“Aahh, Charlee . . . fuck.”

He comes, hard, and it’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever witnessed. The way his orgasm took over him, the pleasure in his features, the uncontrollable way his body contorted . . . so damn sexy.

I travel back up his body, kissing my way until I reach his mouth. His chest rapidly rises and falls beneath me as he tries to catch his breath.

I kiss his chin and say, “Happy birthday.”

He scoops me up and lays me flat on the mattress. “Best fucking birthday, ever. Best way to wake up too.” He starts to lower down my body but I stop him.

“Oh no, you don’t. Today is about you and how many times I can suck you off in one single day.”

His brows shoot up to his hairline. “Babe, you can’t be serious.”

“I am. One down, nineteen to go.”

His eyes nearly fall out of his head. “You’re going to suck me off twenty times today? Charlee, I won’t have a dick after that.”

“Are you saying you’re not man enough to take on twenty blow jobs in one day?”

“I’m saying I don’t want to be chafed walking down the aisle of my best friend’s wedding.”

“And sister, it’s your sister’s wedding day as well.”

“Yeah, she’s fine. Bram’s my boy though.” Honestly, I’ll never understand the bromance those two have. It’s sweet though. I wish I had a friendship like theirs. I know I have my grandma, but she’s older, so hitting up late-night things doesn’t work well. Linus is my friend, and I have some friends Upstate, but nothing like what Bram and Rath have. And weirdly, ever since I told Linus I was getting married to Rath, he’s been distant. I still wonder if he disapproves. Either way, I am in awe of the kind of friendships Rath has, especially given his busy schedule and life. He makes time for it all.

“How about this,” I say. “Whenever you want some today”—I motion to my body—“it’s an open door.”

He chuckles and says, “How’s that different than any other day?”

“Are you calling me a harlot?” I ask in feigned shock.

“Nah, not a harlot, just perfect for me, that’s all.” He wiggles his eyebrows and I don’t think I’ve seen him cuter than in this moment. “Now, the birthday boy wants some breakfast. Spread your legs, babe.”

He goes to lower himself again but I pull him up again. “Not yet.”

Exhaling in frustration, he collapses to the side, his hand in his hair. “Why won’t you just let me lick your pussy?” he asks, sounding hilariously desperate.

“Are you seriously whining about not going down on me?”

“Yes, I am. Now stop arguing and come sit on my face.”

Laughing, I lean over and kiss his cheek before hopping out of bed and slipping on his discarded button-up shirt. “You’re cute when you’re frustrated.”

“And you’re sexy in my shirt, so come over here and let me do my job as your fiancé.”

I reach into my bag and pull out a wrapped present. “Why don’t you cool your jets and let me spoil you?”

He eyes the present and then looks at me, a softness in his eyes. “Charlee, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“But I did because I wanted to.” I hand him the small box and then sit back on my heels, excited.

He glances at me and shakes his head, a smile caressing his handsome jaw.

“What’s that look for?” I ask, poking his side.

“You.”

“What about me?”

He sets the box down and pulls me onto his blanket-covered lap. He holds my bare hips still and says, “You just, hell . . . you make me happy, Charlee.”

I caress his jaw. “You make me happy too, Rath.” I lower my mouth and kiss him sweetly on the lips, and the way he reciprocates sends tingles all the way to my toes. I don’t want to say it out loud, I hate that I’m even thinking about it, but over the course of the last few weeks, I’ve realized that Rath holds a special place in my heart, more special than I’ve realized. More than Chris even held.

When he said he was moving on, I literally felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and he was dragging it across the floor behind him as he retreated. It took me setting my wants and needs to the side for a brief second to realize, just as much as this was hard on me, this was hard on him too, and if I kept pushing and pushing we’d never get anywhere. So even though I don’t understand him not wanting to open up, I’m going to give him time.

I pull my lips away from him and say, “Open my gift.”

“Okay.”

He goes to untie the ribbon and I stop him. “For the record, I know you’re mega rich and could really get yourself anything, so I thought I would do something a little different. Don’t think it’s like . . . an Apple Watch or something.”

He laughs out loud and shakes his head. “Damn, and my hopes were up for one.” He finishes untying the ribbon and opens the lid. He pulls out the present and a giant smile crosses his face as he takes it in and then he looks up at me.

“The first day we met.”

I nod and take one of his hands in mine. “My grandma always told me if I wanted to meet someone, I should do something that makes me really happy, go somewhere that makes me really happy so people can see me at my best. It may sound lame, but that convention was a happy place for me, and you captured that moment, of seeing me at my best. And that’s where I met you.” And if he mentions turd nugget, I might have to punch him. Even though it’s his birthday.

He clutches the picture to his chest and says, “I love it, thank you. I’m putting it on my desk when we get back into the office on Monday.”

“Yeah?” I move my hands up his chest and over his shoulders. “Front and center?”

“Yup.” His arm slides under my shirt and around my waist where he flips me to my back and hovers above me. “I want in you.” He sets the picture on the nightstand and lowers his mouth to my breasts.

“You need to get ready for the wedding.”

“Trust me,” he says, moving his hand to my pussy where he feels how eager I am already. “This won’t take long.”

Rich people have nice weddings.

I’ve been to a few weddings here and there, but they have been mediocre in terms of amount spent, which is totally fine because it’s one day. Why blow all your money on one day, right?

Well . . . I can see why some people do it, because holy shit.

First of all, the ceremony itself was drop-dead gorgeous. They didn’t go over the top with decorations. How could you when the Boathouse in Prospect Park is already beautiful? Its light green, herringbone-tiled arched ceilings and prominent white windows overlook the ceremony space and Prospect Lake, which has a coating of moss over the top, giving the entire space an ethereal look.

So magical.

Julia beautifully paired light peach and ivory colors to flow throughout the space as well, and the tables are gathered together into one long table that stretches through the giant arched hallway of the boathouse. Brilliant in every way.

Champagne glass in hand, I nervously adjust the dress Rath helped me pick out and scan the room for the man I came with. He wanted me to feel special today—which is ridiculous since it’s his birthday and Bram and Julia’s wedding. He took me shopping the other day and we found this beautiful Vera Wang floor-length gold dress that I’m not going to lie, makes my ass look amazing with how the exposed back hits just above it.

He also required I get my hair and makeup done as well. I feel very pretty and very much like I fit in with the crowd.

“Charlee, your dress is gorgeous,” Sutton says, coming up to me with a glass of champagne in her hand. Her southern charm captivates me—her voice, her politeness, and her beauty.

“Thank you,” I say, turning to face her. “So do you.” I look toward the ceremony and say, “Where were you sitting? We should have sat together while the boys were up there doing their thing. By the way, Roark in a tux is something every girl should see in their lifetime.”

She sighs dreamily. “I could not agree more. When he put it on earlier, it was very hard for me not to tear it off.” She sips her champagne and then whispers, “Honestly, I think all the guys stole the show, and I don’t mean to make that sound awful because Julia was stunning, but all three of those guys standing up there together, hands clasped in front of them, styled so handsomely, it was hard to look away.”

“Tell me about it,” I say, feeling a blush hit my cheeks. “I occasionally caught Rath looking at me, and it made me blush feverously.”

“Oh yeah, I caught him looking at someone in the crowd. I assumed it was you. Girl,” Sutton says, with a smile, “he has it bad for you.”

“You think so?” I ask, feeling a sense of joy surge through me.

“Yes. He could not stop staring at you.”

“And here I thought it was the girl in front of me with the bright red dress on.” I wouldn’t have blamed him really. She’s the girl who stands out in a crowd, and given I’m on the vertically challenged side, I didn’t think he could actually see me.

Sutton shakes her head. “No, that was all you. Rath Westin was staring at his fiancée.”

“Gah, you’re so sweet. You know we should really—”

“Excuse me,” a beautiful girl with long brown hair turns around, interrupting us. I immediately notice her as the girl in the red dress sitting in front of me. “Did you say Rath Westin’s fiancée?”

“Yes,” Sutton says, giving the girl a quick once-over. “This is Charlee, Rath’s fiancée. I’m Sutton, Roark’s girl. And you are?” It doesn’t sound rude the way she says it because southern charm drips from Sutton’s voice, but from the way she steels her shoulders, I sense she’s being protective.

“Vanessa.” She holds her hand out. Why do I know that name? Where have I heard it before? “It’s very nice to meet you.” She shakes both our hands.

“What a lovely name,” Sutton says. “And how do you know Rath?”

“I used to work for him.” She looks away and then says, “And we used to date.”

And just like that, the jovial mood I was in completely falters, and I’m filled with dread. Is this the girl? The one who hurt him? That one who damaged him to the point that he hasn’t been able to open up to me?

Was he staring at her during the ceremony when I thought it was me?

I feel sick. Of course he was looking at her. I can still feel the harshness of his words that morning when I challenged him, begged him to tell me something. But he’d shut me out. “I just don’t share. I’ve done that, and it came back and bit me in the ass . . . With someone I don’t talk about . . . ever. Not even my boys are allowed to talk about her . . ."

He was staring at her . . . because despite his confessions of what I mean to him, how indispensable I am, how he feels something for me . . . his heart still belongs to her. To Vanessa. Beautiful, striking, red-dress-wearing Vanessa. Awkwardly, Sutton says, “Oh, that’s . . . nice.”

“Sorry,” Vanessa says, smiling at me with her perfect teeth. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was just so thrown off when I heard he had a fiancée. That’s amazing though. Congrats.” She gives me a hug, and I have this faint temptation to pull on her hair to see if it’s real. It’s too thick and full to be real. “I’m very happy for you.” She takes a deep breath and looks around. “I need to find my man.” Oh, well, I guess, thank God for small blessings; she’s moved on. “How weird is it that we’re both engaged now?”

My heart slams against my chest as my breath escapes me, my mind reeling back to the day in Rath’s office when he suggested the idea of getting married. The calculated look on his face, the wheels turning . . . the events he hasn’t taken me to, to help him further his business. I was thinking the other day how this arrangement only seemed to be benefitting me. Until now.

“Right, indeed,” Sutton says, taking my hand in hers, noticing my slow departure from the conversation. “It was lovely meeting you, but I think we’re going to freshen up.”

“Of course,” Vanessa says. “See you on the dance floor.”

She takes off while I try to catch my breath.

He said he wanted to get married so my grandma’s dreams would be realized. But the look in his eye was the savvy businessman . . . which is why I’m finding his sincerity a little impossible to believe right now.

“Hey, are you okay?” Sutton asks, tugging on my arm.

“Yes.” I smile, but I know it barely reaches my lips. “I’m fine. I, uh, wow”—I laugh awkwardly—“I was just thinking how hot it is in here. Do you mind if I step outside for a second?”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No.” I shake my head and pat her hand. “I just need a second.”

“Okay,” she says with worry in her eyes. “But I’ll be right here if you need anything.”

“Thank you.”

I take off quickly to the doors that are parted for me by waitstaff. Some of the wedding attendees have trickled outside to enjoy the beautiful sunset lighting up the sky and casting a stunning glow on the lake. But even though there’s pure beauty in front of me, I can’t enjoy it, not when my mind is going a mile a minute.

I grab my phone from my clutch and type a text to Linus.

Charlee: Where are you?

I don’t have to wait long.

Linus:. Been tied up helping with pictures. Love your dress. Save a dance for me?

Charlee: I have a question.

Linus: What’s up?

Charlee: Do you know anything about Vanessa?

Linus: Oh no, did she come up to you?

Charlee: Yes, and I’m kind of freaking out. Is she the girl who broke Rath’s heart?

The little dots appear and I wait impatiently for him to reply back, watching them bounce and disappear and then bounce, and disappear again.

“There you are.” Rath’s rich voice breaks through my panic as he comes up to me and slides his arm across my exposed back. He presses a kiss to my head and says, “I was looking for you.”

I stiffen and quickly put my phone away. Feeling awkward, I say, “Uh, great ceremony, right?” I shimmy away from him and sip my champagne.

Looking at me weirdly, he says, “Yes, it was, now tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing,” I say in a high-pitched tone. “Nothing is wrong. Just . . . wow, is this champagne extra spiked? Feeling a little loopy.”

He takes hold of my arm and guides me to a bench. “How many glasses have you had?”

“Just the one, but, huh, maybe it’s the dress, you know how expensive dresses are, make you feel . . . loopy.”

His brow creases as he studies me. “What’s up, Charlee?”

“Nothing.” I hiccup. “Nothing at all. You know just living my best life with this champagne.”

He studies the glass and then says, “Do you want me to get you some water?”

“Yes,” I say desperately. “Water would be awesome. Thank you.”

“Okay.” He stands and eyes me. “If I leave you, are you going to be okay?”

“Yup, I’ll stay right here.”

He nods and works his way into the venue where I can see him head straight to the bar, which is close to one of the windows, giving me the perfect opportunity to keep track of where he is. I keep an eye on him for a few seconds. He’s handsome every other day, but today in his tux, it’s like his hotness level has grown exponentially.

I turn back to my phone and read Linus’s text.

Linus: I see you. Be right there.

Crap, he’s on his way? I look up just in time to see Linus approach.

“I saw Rath come up to you so I held off for a second. Where did he go?”

“To go get me some water.” I scoot over on the bench so he can take a seat. “What do you know?”

We don’t have time for pleasantries. I need the details.

“Vanessa is here. She’s wearing red. Is that who came up to you?”

“Yes. Long brown hair.” He nods. “Is she the girl who broke Rath?”

Linus nods. “I don’t know much, but what I do know is that it wasn’t easy for him to get over her. I overheard Bram saying to Rath a few months back that Vanessa was engaged, and Rath didn’t sound happy about it.”

I nibble on my bottom lip and look out toward the bar where I see Rath waiting for a water. “Do you think he still has feelings for her?”

Linus shrugs. “I honestly don’t know.” He takes my hand and says, “But he has you, so he’s happy.”

“I thought he was, until he was staring in my direction the entire wedding . . . with Vanessa sitting in front of me.”

Linus shakes his head. “I doubt he was staring at her.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because, I see the way he looks at you.” Linus sighs and says, “I know I took the news a little weird about your engagement, and that’s because I was nervous about my credibility. I didn’t want Rath thinking I suggested you as an assistant because I was trying to hook up my friend with a rich guy.” Well, that makes sense. “But I know that was silly. I was just nervous, you know?”

“Oh, I get it, seriously. No worries.” I turn to look at Rath again, but this time, he’s not at the bar. I look around and then spot him, standing by the door, talking to her. “Oh God, they’re talking.”

“Where? Oh . . . I see them.”

“What do you think, is he still interested?”

Linus shakes his head just as Rath slips his hand to her back and laughs, just like he slipped his hand to my back. My stomach revolts on itself and I swear, I can see it all unraveling in front of me.

His reluctance to open up to me.

His urgency to be engaged.

His demand that my ring be huge, a status symbol many people will be checking on.

His need for me to look beautiful tonight.

It all makes sense.

All those things were important to him. Not me.

“He’s using me,” I say on an exhaled breath.

“What? No.” Linus shakes his head. “Mr. Westin isn’t like that.”

“Or is he?” I turn to Linus. “He clearly isn’t over her. Look at the way he can’t take his eyes off her, the hold he has on her lower back, the smile on his face. That smile isn’t reserved for me. And when he suggested we get married, it came out of nowhere. My grandma is sick, but I never expected him to offer that. I was so skeptical at first, but he told me it would help him out too with certain events and whatnot. We haven’t been to one event, besides this one. He’s not happy about her being engaged. This is all to make her jealous.” I laugh sarcastically and fold my arms over each other. “I can’t believe I fell for it. For his, I don’t want to share tactics. The fact that we only kept things in the bedroom. That we never socialized with his friends.” Why bother if the engagement had a very definite end date—when he saw his ex? “The fact that he still hasn’t introduced me to his parents . . . even before today . . . at their daughter’s wedding. I feel like such a fool, Linus. He was using me.”

“Charlee, maybe there’s an explanation.”

I stand from the bench and visibly shake as I move my dress so it doesn’t get snagged. “Yeah, the explanation I gave you. I know you like Rath, Linus, and you think very highly of him, but this doesn’t feel right. I know when I’m being taken advantage of, and I will not stand for it.” I tuck my clutch under my arm and say, “If anyone asks, I wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to spoil the evening for Julia and Bram.”

“Charlee, please don’t go. This could be nothing.”

I give what I assume looks like just a sad look. But inside, my heart has been ripped in two. “Or this is pretty much everything I feared. I’ll talk to you later, Linus.”

Without another parting goodbye, I work my way around the building, avoiding Rath, and hail a cab. I should possibly stay and listen, maybe be here for Bram and Julia, but I’m hanging on by a thread, and if I don’t leave immediately, I’ll make a scene.

Trust me, I’m doing everyone a favor.

When I get back to my apartment, I don’t even bother switching on the lights, and head straight to my room, where I quickly undress and get into a pair of flannel pants and a regular white T-shirt. I release my hair from its confines and remove my caked-on makeup, hating that I felt pretty today, really pretty, and that I was only Rath’s Barbie doll to show off to his friends, to his ex.

By the time I’m done taking everything off, I check my phone where I see a few texts from Rath. I don’t bother reading them. A small part of me feels bad for leaving, knowing Rath can’t leave the wedding, not that he would. Maybe he’s having a fun time with Vanessa, dancing with her, laughing with her, getting drinks with her. Who knows, maybe Vanessa really isn’t engaged either and they’re both trying to pull fast ones to benefit themselves?

Not even remotely hungry, but thirsty from the dry champagne, I decide to get a drink but that’s when I hear my grandma walk into the apartment.

Crap. I don’t want her to know I’m home, because she’ll wonder if everything is okay with Rath, and the last thing I need is for her to worry. So, I go to shut my door just as I hear a voice say, “So you told her you were sick?”

I know that voice. That’s LeeAnn, Grandma’s friend from her senior home.

“I know you’re judging me, but she wasn’t moving on with her life. I saw the way she was looking at Rath. She needed to be pushed in the right direction.”

Wait . . . what?

“So, to get her to date again, you told her you were sick? Oh Janice, that wasn’t a good idea. What happens when she finds out you’re not?”

“I’ll just tell her the tests came back skewed and everything is fine.” For the third time today, my stomach falls to the floor and the need to throw up is heavy. “I did it for a good reason.”

Unsure what takes over me, I fling the door open, and storm into the kitchen. “And what reason was that, Grandma?” I ask, tears I didn’t even know I was crying, streaming down my face.

Startled, she rears back and says, “Chuckie, I didn’t know you were home. Aren’t you supposed to be at the wedding?”

“Yeah, but I left because looks like everyone in my life enjoys lying to me.”

“Rath lied to you?”

I shake my head, growing angrier by the second. “No, I’m not here to talk about him, I’m here to find out why you’ve been lying to me. My own grandma.”

“Chuckie . . . it’s not what you think.”

“Are you sick?” I ask, my voice terse. “Don’t lie to me.”

Licking her lips, she looks to LeeAnn, who backs away, and then to me.

“Are you?” I repeat myself.

“Honey, I . . . I saw how you looked at him.”

“So, you thought getting mixed up with my boss was a good idea for me?” I cry. “How is that a good idea?”

“I saw it all on my birthday. The glances, the smiles. I knew there was something there, more than just a mutual appreciation for one another. There was so much more, there was—”

“You had no right,” I say, yelling at my grandma for the first time in my life. “You had no right to step into my life and try to get me romantically involved with my boss. And then on top of that, you faked being ill? Do you realize how stressed and anxious I’ve been about you? Who . . . who does that?” I fling my arms to the side. “Holy fuck, who does that? I thought you were dying.”

“Chuckie—”

“No,” I scream. “Just no.” I point to the door. “You need to leave, right now.”

“Now, Charlee, let your grandma explain.”

“Shut up, LeeAnn,” I say, pointing my finger at the older woman who resembles Dorothy from the Golden Girls to a T. “You have no idea what her lie has done to me. What I’ve gone through, what I put my boss through.”

“But you found love,” my grandma says, grabbing on to anything.

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t find love. I found myself in a fake engagement so my grandma could see me walk down the aisle in her wedding dress before she died. I found that the guy who I thought cared about me was actually using me for his own benefit, to save face around his ex. I found that there isn’t anyone in this dark and dreary world that actually cares about me.”

“I do.”

“No, you don’t. You know how much I love you. You know you’re my best friend.” A sob wracks my body out of nowhere and I catch my breath. “You’re the one person I trusted most in the world and you took that and played with it. That isn’t love. That’s manipulation.” I take a step back and point at the door. “You need to leave, right now. I’ll have someone bring you your things but leave. I can’t even fucking look at you right now.”

“Charlee, please, just let me explain.”

“Leave,” I scream on a cry and then crumble to the floor. “Fucking leave. Now.”

I sense the hesitation in her steps, but God bless LeeAnn, because I hear her encourage my grandma to leave.

She faked it, faked everything . . . because I had eyes for Rath? How on earth did she think that was okay? Maybe she really is sick, sick in the head, because I can’t imagine any scenario where faking illness and getting your family worked up about it is helping in any way.

I’ve never felt more horrified. Foolish. Angry. Hurt. And mostly? Alone. Completely and utterly alone.